Snakes and Sparklers

$2.17 for Fourth of July entertainment, the finest you can get... Snakes and Sparklers!

• Joe Dirt: So your gonna' tell me that you don't have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis?
• Kicking Wing: No.
• Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?
• Kicking Wing: No, I don't.
• Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?
• Kicking Wing: No... because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.
• Joe Dirt: Well that might be your problem, it's not what you like, it's the consumer.