Saturdays at the Salt Mines

Today I got up early and went to help my dad (normal Saturday, working with my Dad). We went to breakfast, had an argument, and then watched the Toy Run in Little Rock from a parking lot. There were A TON of motorcycles. Trikes, Metric bikes, Harley's, you name it, it was in the parade. I only saw ONE Vulcan 750 in the whole thing. Same year as mine. The riders were crazy, I've thought of participating... but the way those guys ride is crazy. I think I'll stick to solo riding or riding with one or two friends at most.

My friend Larry and I met up at Wendy's, and went to see Enchanted. It was really good, but like most romance movies it made me sad. It was about true love, fairy tales, and love at first sight. I thought I'd had that, until the divorce. I hate being cynical, but I'm still trying to figure out how I feel I guess... It's funny... Let me go over something.

Going to see Dad, I hadn't left home yet... Was still in town, but driving. I got this feeling to go home and check the house. Well, the only turn around was a back road which took me past the river, through tree lined woods, and when I came out I knew why I had the feeling. God knew I was down and wanted me to turn around, and see the glory of what he has wrought. He knows I worry, that I'm sad, and wanted me to see what he has done... and to know that the creator of all of that loves me and cares for me and that it is easily within his power to help me and walk with me, to guide me, mentor me. He wants me to be happy. I know that. I just lose sight of it sometimes when I'm sad.

The movie, well, we were going to go see the Golden Compass. I didn't know if I wanted to see it, because of the controversy behind it. Well, it was sold out. Enchanted was the next thing, and I think God wanted me to see that because it had some positive messages in it. It was also very funny. A good, and lighthearted movie.

I'd decorated my tree part way today. When you handle or touch so many things which remind you of someone who loved you once, it can be difficult. The ornaments, a lot of them were purchased by Maru and I after Christmas each year. We always bought the Hallmark ornaments then because they were half price. Well, putting them on the tree reminded me of her. Of past Christmases, places we'd been (we always bought ornaments on vacations). I had a pack of 60 glass ornaments I put on too, along with the rest. I left some miniatures off, but for the most part I put all but maybe 10 ornaments on my new 7' "Skinny" tree. This was the first time I could hook up the starships (Star Wars and Star Trek). It's a bit goofy to say it, but I have probably 20 or so Star Trek ornaments on the tree. I'm a geek at heart... :-) I also have a Frodo ornament.

The tree looks pretty all lit up.

I also hung a wreath on the house, and need to get a can of silver paint so I can paint some pinecones for a wreath for the front door.

To all my friends, I hope you had a great weekend. I appreciate your friendship and support. There are times I am very down, and I am afraid to reach out to many of you for support or to talk because I am internalizing a lot of this. I feel lost sometimes and it is hard. I am trying not to be all 'emo', and I'm not being upset just for the sake of it. I've got a lot of hurt, and I don't know how to get past it. Pray for me if you will.